Light in the darkness
by GirlWhoLoved
Summary: Even after two years Loki isn't fully recovered from the Chitauri's "hospitality". Sometimes, he still has bad days. Just a short drabble. FrostIron. I suck at descriptions. Rated T because I'm paranoid.


**So umm... I was listening to a song when suddenly this popped up in my head. It's just a short drabble but I hope you like it. Oh and any mistakes in the translation of the song in the beginning are my fault. It's German actually but I guess not everyone understands that so... yeah. Also, grammatical mistakes and stuff in the rest of the text are mine. Loki and Tony on the other hand are sadly not mine.**

~...~

**_I hide you from your worst dream_**

**_I warm you up when you freeze to death from yourself_**

**_I kiss you when nobody wants to kiss you_**

**_I love you when you lose yourself again_**

_Ich hab genauso Angst wie du- Rosenstolz_

~...~  


There were days when Loki was happy, laughing and smiling all the time. Those were the good days.

But then there were the bad days. It was almost two years now that Tony had found a half dead God of Mischief in a dark alley of New York. He had been covered in blood, whimpering and clearly in great pain.

And Iron Man had saved him.

There had been a brief moment when he had flown Loki to the Tower in which he had wondered if he'd ever regret this decision. He never did. Not even for so much as a second.

Loki had slowly recovered, but only slowly. Loki opened up to Tony after some time, trusting him since he was the one who had saved him. The Chitauri had taken him from his cell in Asgard only to torture him until he was on the brink of insanity. And then, suddenly, they had let him go. Loki, fearing Asgard would just imprison him again, had escaped to Midgard. And that was when Tony had found him in said dark alley.

Slowly they had fallen in love with each other. Of course nobody had dared to act on their feelings. Tony's thoughts had been somewhere along the lines of, 'He's a god, he'd never want me.' Loki on the other hand thought he was a monster, that he didn't even deserve someone as good as Tony. He still thought of himself as a monster on bad days, though only on the very bad days. This was a secret he had guarded from Tony. He couldn't bring himself to tell his lover.

This day had been one of the worst. Loki had hidden almost all day from Tony, not wanting to be touched in any way. Tony sighed. He knew it wasn't his fault when Loki was like this. Still, it felt strange and in a way it hurt. He was thinking about this when he lay in his bed, alone, the lights of the city that never slept and his arc reactor illuminating his bedroom. Suddenly the door opened quietly and a shadow sneaked in, crawling into the bed next to him. Two arms were wrapped around him and Loki hid his face against Tony's chest. Tony just put his arms around Loki, holding him.

After some time they fell asleep, sleeping peacefully for a while until Loki started whimpering, crying, mumbling and tossing and turning in his sleep. Tony woke and gently shook Loki's shoulder, telling him gently that it was just a nightmare, that he just needed to wake up. Loki's eyes opened immediately, the emerald green glittering in the pale light. Tears ran down his cheek and he clung onto Tony, who kissed his forehead gently, rubbing his back soothingly. Loki sobbed quietly, his shaking shoulders the only sign that he wasn't just hugging Tony.

"I am a monster."

It was just a whisper, nothing more. Still, it made Tony's heart bleed.

"No… Loki, no, you're not. You're far from that."

Loki shook his head. "No… I… I was born to a race of monsters. I'm just as much of a monster as they are. I killed and lied and betrayed and… I…"

"You?"

"I do not deserve you," came the barely audible answer, followed by a sob.

Tony pulled Loki closer again, kissing the top of his lover's head. "You do deserve me. You deserve so much… I love you. You're not a monster."

Loki shook his head.

"Do you love me?" Tony asked, even though he knew the answer.

"Of course I do," Loki answered with a frown.

"See?" Tony said softly. "Monsters cannot love. Not as far as I know."

Loki was quiet after that, his shaking shoulders suggesting though that he was crying even harder at that. Why, that was a mystery to Tony and also to Loki if he was honest. But he needed to cry, it felt so good to let it all out.

Later, when Loki had stopped crying, they just lay next to each other, their fingers entwined. Loki felt… free, empty almost, but it was a good feeling. After some time spent in silence Loki rolled over and kissed Tony softly.

"Thank you."

And maybe it would get better now. Maybe Loki would actually stop thinking he was a monster someday, would stop thinking he didn't deserve Tony.

~...~

**Sooo... I hope you liked it! Tell me what you think!**


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